Power and control in dating relationships


I think we all want some sort of influence or power (or at least, the feeling like we matter, feeling like we can influence the people who matter in our life, and that our opinion and position is noticed and appreciated). I think that the power to bring out the best in your man is a good power.I think that the power to give love when we are afraid is true power. We want to know that he’s going to stick it out through the tough times, and be there for us when things get ugly in life. We want him to care for us at the deepest level, and love us like no other man could. But the reason I’m bringing up this statement is because I would really like to see women begin to ask themselves why they’re doing things. But, having the goal of getting all the control and all the power in a relationship doesn’t lead to healthy relationships.

Not only does a man want acceptance, he wants a woman who can give him love even when he makes huge mistakes – when he makes a wrong decision! And it’s not just men, really, who wants someone to love them only when it’s easy?

Now, I know that above I said something which will anger some women, but those of you who know my work well know exactly what I mean.

Remember, abuse is much more than slapping or grabbing someone.

So I was browsing the internet yesterday, and I came across this statement, which horrified me: “The one who is being pursued has all the power in a relationship”. This is what the masculine energy needs to do for the feminine energy. It is driven by emotion in a relationship, whilst the masculine energy is driven more by direction.

I mean the ability to maintain the kind of power quoted above, which is achieved in vain, is short-lived.

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